"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you can appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."
-Marilyn Monroe

If you fall...

Let's talk and we'll fill the air with
imagery that lasts forever
So this is love that's a lovely thought
You have to care for it to keep it together
If you fall will you get up
You're stuck in a dream will you wake up
And if you fell in love will you hold on to it
And if it's cold will you stay warm
You drift too far will you swim towards the shore
And if you fell in love will you hold on to it
Lets just sing and we'll fill the air with
melodies that blend together
You speak so sweet with words so delicate
A glass i hope will never shatter
If you fall will you get up
You're stuck in a dream will you wake up
And if you fell in love will you hold on to it
And if it's cold will you stay warm
You drift too far will you swim towards the shore
And if you fell in love will you hold on to it

sepi....

tajuk je sepi...tapi x sepi pon..
today baru cari external hard disk...kat low yatt..
finally..yes!
hmm...gi pavi...nuthin much..
time lalu kat sungai wang tu bleh plak gi main morphis 3d simulator..hehe mcm space ship..best2 pastu pening!ekeke..
i was touch that mr A beria2 carikan cerita sepi for me cuz i mmg dah lama nak tgk citer tu...
unfortunately sungai wang dah nak tutup time tu..
we went to petaling street..
hmm...semangat gile die carikan cerita sepi...thanks :)
makin hari makin dapat lupakan..makin xde rasa nak tanya...tapi kadang2 benda tu dtg jugak...mcm mana nak hilangkan rasa tu eh?

AQUARIUS ooppss it's AQUARIA!

i was really happy :) spent time with mr A..
we actually wanna go to the pc fair cuz i nak cari external hard disk but then tetiba somethin caught my eyes...hehe...AQUARIA!!hehehe..
it was my treat...bestnya rasa cm tenang je kat dalam tu...deep inside i was sad actually before jumpa dia...i even think of deciding on something...even im not so sure but i just dont know why i feel hurt and the curiosity and the intense of knowing the truth was really like wanna burst out..
but then...i take an easy way, not to think too much about it..
and when i see his pure face looking at me, rasa cm relief je...rasa cm hilang semua tue..
tapi kadang2 it keep spinning in my head..
it was really fun, we snap some pictures together...with the jaws!hehe..
yeah...i dapat ketenangan kat situ..
it was really memorable to me cuz i never been there before..
then, we bought some souvenirs which is turtles (green n yellow) he'll keep one and i'll keep one..hehe..

what else??????

i cant stand it anymore..
sorry mr F...i broke our promise that i will not cry becuz of him..
but tonite....im so sad, dissapointed, hurt....etc...
yeah...the more u know the more u hurt....
hmmm....mmgla aku tak kan pandang belakang lagi..
mmg aku dah nekad tak nak ingat pasal past tu yg really2 hurt..
but i just can say that God show me the way...please give me some extra strength for me to...i dont know...please God...please show me the way...Ya Allah Ya Tuhanku...
bantulah hambamu ini yg lemah...
kenapa aku tak dpt nak mengecapi kebahagiaan dengan dia walhal aku selalu mendoakan kebahagian dia dan juga org yg pernah hadir dalam hidup dia...
i think of doin somethin unnecessary but after refering to my close frens, mr F, bro Z....they dont think it is necessary...and i?still praying...pray...and pray...
im stuck in the middle....ibarat berada di tengah lautan yg tak berpenghujung...aku terkapai2 di tengah2 lautan....hanya berserah kepadamu Ya Allah......aku pasrah....aku tahu kau menjanjikan yg terbaik untukku...aku hanya insan yg lemah, dugaan yg kau berikan menjadikan aku insan yg lebih tabah dan cekal untuk menghadapi hari esok...
tetapi..kenapa bahagia yg aku kecapi hanya seketika?
i just dont know....who can i count on??
I REALLY TRUST U!
yeah...i dont know when is the exact time but i know it was when we still close and connected with that complicated feelings..
aku benci betul manusia hipokrit!
pretending like nothing happen...
act like u know nothing...
like u was not there...
like u never been there..
like....sucks!it really sucks!
im not dat kind of gal like ur other gals before..as i know it was 1 or 2?or maybe more?i dont know..
im different than others...im totally different..
who are u actually?who are u?
i started to think....do i really know u?
all those promises u made....did u made it with the previous one as well?the first one?the second one?the third one?or there's fourth?again...i dont know..
please treat me as im different than other gals that used to be in ur life..
please treat me like im really SPECIAL to u..like u said..
prove it! IF.....if u really WANT me..
or else...u can just back off from my life forever!
dont u ever give me hope if u dont really mean it..
its just between yes or no?
dont u ever think that u can just seek for my forgiveness and ill forgive u with no hurt feelings..
i cant think well right now..
even with 2 times of wudu'
i better stop and pray to God that everythin will be better for me..
U know what's the best in me....n U know what is the best for me..

not on the right track?

since yesterday...
i feel so sick!
flu, headache, cough, cold...
hmm...it was just not on the right time..
im a bit dissapointed that i dont really contribute in doing the proposal..
thankz to my team mates for being understanding.
i promise that ill put my full effort in the final report..insyaAllah..
yet i was a bit emotional....misunderstanding...again and again...
sometimes i just feel that he's not the one and im not really sure with him..
im just doing my part...up to the extend that i can..
hmm...i slept around 6.45am...
me and miss L had a heart to heart pillow talk..
yeah....the more we know, the more we hurt..
but the more we dont know, the more we curious bout it..
how can we really sure??
how???
we never know........

xOxo......zatO

lonely loneliness

Im sitting here
Thinking bout
How im gon-na do without
You around in my life and how am I
I gon' get by I ain't got no days
Just lonely nights
You want the truth
Well im not alright
Feel out of place and out of time
I think im gonna lose my mind

So tell me how you feel (im lonely)
Are you for real (so lonely)
Do you still think of me (i think of you)
Baby still (You only)
Do you dream of me at night (like i dream of you all the time)
So let me tell you how it feels (its like everyday i die)
Wish i was dreaming but its real (when i open up my eyes)
Let me tell you how it feels (and don't see your pretty face)
I think that i will never love again

I miss your face
I miss your kiss
I even miss the arguments
That we would have from time to time
I miss you standing by my side
I'm dying here its clear to see
There ain't no you, God knows there ain't no me
Don't wanna live, I wanna die
If I cant have you in my life

cluster bomb in my head!

damn it!
again....bad migrain...again..
its really pain.can feel it on the left side of my head..
:( cant sleep...... :(

girl language perhaps?

When i dont call you[ Its because im waiting for you to call me ]

When i walk away from you mad[ Follow me ]

When i stare at your mouth[ Kiss me ]

When i push you or hit you[ Grab me and dont let go ]

When i start cursing at you[ Kiss me and tell me you love me]

When im quiet[ Ask me whats wrong/Or mess with me. ]

When i ignore you[ Give me your attention ]

When i pull away[ Pull me back ]

When you see me at my worst[ Tell me im beautiful ]

When you see me start crying[ Hold me and tell me everything will be alright ]

When you see me walking[ Sneak up and hug my waist from behind ]

When im scared[ Protect me ]

When i lay my head on your shoulder[ Tilt my head up and kiss me ]

When i tease you[ Tease me back and make me laugh ]

When i dont answer for a long time[ reassure me that everything is okay ]

When i look at you with doubt[ Back yourself up ]

When i say that i like you[ I really do more than you could understand ]

When i grab at your hands[ Hold mine and play with my fingers ]

When i bump into you[ bump into me back and make me laugh ]

When i tell you a secret[ keep it safe and untold ]

When i look at you in your eyes[ dont look away until i do ]

When i miss you[ im hurting inside ]

When you break my heart[the pain never really goes away ]

When i say its over[ i still want you to be mine ]


xoxo-zato

where's my teeth??

haha...the title sounds weird aite? :P
there's a secret behind..lalala....
today, everythin went well for me..
i was happy.. :)
someone trusted me-dun worry dude u can count on me :)
someone told me-ironically its hard to find someone special like me :)
someone noticed-im unpredictable! :)

Mr A....cant wait to see u again :)
i just viewed our pics together...
the videos...everything..
there's one pic caught my eyes..
everytime i look at the picture, my heart beat....real fast!
and the video.....thanks a lot sayang... :)
im happy with u :)
:) :) :) :) :) :) :)
im sooooooo happpyyyy today!

xoxo......zaty :) (smiling)

get SMART!

penat giler hari nie...
kepala pening...
hmm...xlarat gile dah td sebenarnya..
aku drive dari pahang td...sampai je terus gi midvalley...
hmm...kenapa ehh...slalu mcm tu...apa yg kita dah rancang, kita dah fikir,sure tak kan jadi seperti yg telah kita set dalam mind...
aku taktau nak gambarkan perasaan aku tadi mcm mana...tak terkata sebenarnya..
aku rasa semalam aku dah dpt 'sesuatu' dari bro Z...thanks..
ada betulnya jugak opinion dia..
aku pertimbangkan pendapat semua org yg aku rasa sesuai utk aku share 'cerita tentang kita' tetapi aku juga perahsia...bukan semua perlu diceritakan...
bagi aku kalau smua benda dah jadi bahan tontonan atau apa jua yg berlaku di dalam sesuatu perhubungan itu tersebar, tiada apa lagi yg istimewa...hilang manisnya...nuthin left...dah takde apa lagi yg tinggal utk kita...(hmm...emosi plakk)

aku rasa tak perlu la nak taip panjang lebar...kepala aku berat betul nie..tunggu masa jumpa bantal je..hehe..
apapun...thanks a lot to u..
im actually happy to see u..
u look good with the new hair cut..hope ur hair cepat tumbuh n jadi semakin kacaks!hehe
thanks blanje tgk wayang...serius kelakar cerita tu... :) thanks again
im sorry that i dunno how to act...hmm...
bukannya i xnak balas time u hold my hand...i pun tak pasti..
mix up feelings...
u still remember to put the tickets in my bag :)
nape nie...nape rasa cm nak nangis nie??hmm..
maybe ur rite bro Z, heart cant lie..
i would love to spend time with u dear....but i dunno how to start...

..............let the time lead........

btw, i would like to thank 2 of my friends...ur advices help me a lot..
thanks to mr Iv and mr F a.k.a G(nickname)

xOxO.......zatO

:(

i still remember those words that u said during our conversation in the ym...
i was hurt....deeply hurt...
gtg.... *tears

complicated...

tonite...i really miss him..
i rindu sangat kat A... :(
i feel like cryin aite now..
hmmm...yeahh i know im damn ego...
hmm...
aku actually dah malas nak pikir benda2 nie..penat dah sebenarnya..
aku rasa mcm dah x nak letak apa2 harapan..
just let it flow that way..
i dont wanna put too much...
i feel like im giving up...
im so lonely :(
i just want u to know....i love u so much...
i really need u sayang....

24/6

yesterday....i went to the university hospital to visit my uncle..he was hospitalized..mmm he's condition is not very good it seems like he's in his own halutination world..but luckily he still able to recognize my aunt's voice. he responded to the voice..
the day before i went to gleaneagles to do the x ray...hope everything will be ok..hmmm..
back from hospital, had a big fight with mr A...
i just found on something which i can say it was a lie..
im not so sure..
apa lagi yg u tipu i?
hmmm....i xde niat nak gaduh semalam...nape u xfaham2?
ntahla...i dun feel special at all..
smua tempat u pegi dgn dia...mcm there's nuthin left for me..
dah la before this semua benda u cerita dengan dia...
what's the point?
n then u claim that it was a mistake..
mistake xkan sampai mcm tu..
pliz God...help me to forget bout all this stupid thinggys
im tryin my best but it seems so easy for u...
i dun understand..where am i?????

good thing is...there's someone who care about me..
i found something on him that makes me feel comfortable..
kenal dah lama cuma lately selalu gak intouch ngan dia..
since day 1st, i can feel the connection...i can say that he 'sekepala' wit me..
guess...thats all for now...

xoxo-zato

new comer

i just started blogging...
i found out that blogging is interesting as i observe my cousin always use it to express her feelings and write her daily activiy in her blog..
so i decided to give a try.. :)