what else??????

i cant stand it anymore..
sorry mr F...i broke our promise that i will not cry becuz of him..
but tonite....im so sad, dissapointed, hurt....etc...
yeah...the more u know the more u hurt....
hmmm....mmgla aku tak kan pandang belakang lagi..
mmg aku dah nekad tak nak ingat pasal past tu yg really2 hurt..
but i just can say that God show me the way...please give me some extra strength for me to...i dont know...please God...please show me the way...Ya Allah Ya Tuhanku...
bantulah hambamu ini yg lemah...
kenapa aku tak dpt nak mengecapi kebahagiaan dengan dia walhal aku selalu mendoakan kebahagian dia dan juga org yg pernah hadir dalam hidup dia...
i think of doin somethin unnecessary but after refering to my close frens, mr F, bro Z....they dont think it is necessary...and i?still praying...pray...and pray...
im stuck in the middle....ibarat berada di tengah lautan yg tak berpenghujung...aku terkapai2 di tengah2 lautan....hanya berserah kepadamu Ya Allah......aku pasrah....aku tahu kau menjanjikan yg terbaik untukku...aku hanya insan yg lemah, dugaan yg kau berikan menjadikan aku insan yg lebih tabah dan cekal untuk menghadapi hari esok...
tetapi..kenapa bahagia yg aku kecapi hanya seketika?
i just dont know....who can i count on??
I REALLY TRUST U!
yeah...i dont know when is the exact time but i know it was when we still close and connected with that complicated feelings..
aku benci betul manusia hipokrit!
pretending like nothing happen...
act like u know nothing...
like u was not there...
like u never been there..
like....sucks!it really sucks!
im not dat kind of gal like ur other gals before..as i know it was 1 or 2?or maybe more?i dont know..
im different than others...im totally different..
who are u actually?who are u?
i started to think....do i really know u?
all those promises u made....did u made it with the previous one as well?the first one?the second one?the third one?or there's fourth?again...i dont know..
please treat me as im different than other gals that used to be in ur life..
please treat me like im really SPECIAL to u..like u said..
prove it! IF.....if u really WANT me..
or else...u can just back off from my life forever!
dont u ever give me hope if u dont really mean it..
its just between yes or no?
dont u ever think that u can just seek for my forgiveness and ill forgive u with no hurt feelings..
i cant think well right now..
even with 2 times of wudu'
i better stop and pray to God that everythin will be better for me..
U know what's the best in me....n U know what is the best for me..